Friday, 9 September 2011

Why me?

Why me?

Who'd of thought it? Not me that's for sure. I always thought things like this happened to other people, stronger people who could somehow cope with it, not me, I always thought of myself as, well, not necessarily weak but definitely not strong, I mean , get this, I can cry at anything, from the obvious sad movies to watching the coffins coming home of our boys who've been killed at war (that's justified sadness, not really to be compared with weepy movies).  What I'm trying to say is, I'm often over emotional, too nostalgic (no matter how much I wish it, my grown up son can't be a toddler again, not even for 24 hrs).
Certain folk have to deal with really tragic situations in their lives, finding out that yourself or a loved one has a terminal illness must be the worst thing ever. So I should think my self lucky!
Lucky that I have the most kind, caring and nearly perfect (well, he does snore) husband, a son I totally adore, great family and friends. In the whole scheme of things I have it all!  What have I got to complain about? 
Nothing actually because I've realised I am a strong person, in fact, stronger than most. Show me a problem and I'll find a solution. I will  (nearly) always look on the positives in my wonderful life and try not to dwell on the negatives. To those of you that are regular readers of my blogs will know, I have a sense of humour, I like to see the amusing, funny, take my mind of it side of things.  I'm a happy person, I'm always smiling, people have even commented on it. 
But I have a chronic pain condition,  for 8 years I've hardly had a day or night without some sort of pain. It has affected my life as unfortunately this pain is real and can't be ignored.  My strength is ever present because of a condition called Fibromyalgia (pls google it). This syndrome won't beat me though, I refuse to let it get the better of me, my symptoms often get worse so I just have to deal with it (it helps to have the support of my family, friends and twitter friends). 
I'm alive, I'm not terminally ill, but I'm also not making light of this relentless condition, a lot of people who suffer from it really do suffer. Normally my symptoms are ok, I can deal with it. 
 I don't want sympathy, heavens no, just for you to be aware of the not very pleasant fibromyalgia. 
Why me? Why not me!


  1. You are strong and probably even moreso because of fibrmyalgia. Any illness whether short or long should make people realise what they have in life. We don't really know eachother very well but what I do know is that you are a fantastic person, so bubbly and happy when you are feeling ok. There is a song which always reminds me of you - don't know who sings it but I think its called Money Money. Its not the title that makes me think of you but the fun, happy tune that goes with it.

    I wish you well, I know the illness won't just go away but I hope that at some time when you are feeling good we can get to know eachother a little better.

    Take care my friend, you are one in a million

    Fran XX

  2. Having a chronic illness or going thru adversity does have a way of putting one's life on perspective and brings out qualities in a person that they didn't know they had good or bad! it def makes a diff how a person reacts to a situation and I must say you have a great disposition while enduring a terrible illness. Continue on fearlessly my friend!

  3. Thank you for your comment. My mood is the one part of this syndrome that I am in control off! Xx

  4. I can really relate to this. I've been struggling with the same thing the past few days. It is really hard to get used to not being able to go to stores with no ramp and handicap access (I use a walker). I was kind of in the self-pity mode for awhile, then I thought of my other friends online who are so much sicker, yet they inspire me with their positive attitudes. I came to the same conclusion you did. I'm very lucky to be who I am. I'm lucky to be able to walk. I'm lucky to have a wonderful DH, good friends, and of course, our furbaby kitties.