Do I need to lose weight?

Do I need to lose weight? I normally would answer "no I'm fine" and I suppose in some ways I am. Well, maybe I could do with losing the odd pound or two (about twenty-one to be truthful) but I'm fine, I really am, I'm fine. Honestly, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine..........

Hmmmm, actually,  I'm not fine, I'm overweight, there I've said it! I'm overweight, it's took me nearly forty-four years to achieve it (I'm strangely proud of that)! It's had it's ups and downs but unfortunately it's my weight that's  been on a big "up" for the last eighteen months so I think a "down" is long overdue.  

So where do I start? Well, I've pushed the not very healthy food to the back of the fridge/cupboards. I refuse to throw food away though, one day I might appreciate that kit kat or that pack of garlic butter! You never know I may even come across a diet that encourages copious amounts of warm garlic bread oozing with  butter (I'm not doing myself any favours am I?).

Seriously though, I decided to do something about it, with hubs too (if I'm on a diet then so is he). 

How? Was the next question. I asked my best friend as she's always watching what she eats and has a lovely figure. Weightwatchers? Slimming world? They both help an awful lot of people but Emma recommended a app for my iPhone (a free one at that). So I downloaded "My fitness pal" (the title frightened me as I'm allergic to anything that even resembles fitness) and what a clever app it is.  It asks for your sex, height, age, weight and how much you'd like to lose then all you have to do is log everything you eat or drink and also what exercise you've done that day including light housework and walking. It takes a bit of getting used to but it's very helpful. 

So we've been calorie counting for a week now and I'm delighted to say I've lost one and a half pounds. I feel thinner and I have more energy. It's s good start I suppose, hubs lost nearly twice as much as me (grrr), but I was hoping for a little more, and yes before you ask  I shaved my legs, had a pee (and emptied my bowels) speed ran on the spot for a minute or two (about 10 seconds in reality) to squeeze another ounce of fat out of me (urgh that sounds awful). 

I know this is the start of a very long journey, very long. Can I do this? Do I want to? I've eaten fish three times this week and that's a record for me especially as it hasn't been deep fried in batter (yum)! Oh how I love my fattening food, chocolate, chips and more chocolate, not forgetting alcohol. that reminds me, I'm out tonight with hubs and two other couples for a meal and drinks (and it could get messy)! 

I am fatter than I should be and I suppose for the sake of my health I need to do something about it even though to start with it may be tough. Or am I just trying to talk myself into it?

So dear readers, do I need to lose weight? 

How do we cope when our children leave home?

How do we cope when our children leave home?  We don't! Us mothers just cry and cry and wish we could turn the time back to when they needed us.  We look at baby photos, sit in their  bedroom and wallow in self pity feeling like our world had ended.  We are mums for goodness sake what else our we meant to do. What's are identity if we aren't "mum"? What's are role in life? What are we meant to do now? 

Just remember for one moment that we haven't always been a parent, that before being totally consumed by our little bundle of joy we were happy individuals. We were strong independent women. That's what we were and that's what we can be again (I say, sitting up straight with a determined face)! I'm not going to let this empty nest get me down! We should be proud of ourselves for bringing up our children into good well rounded individuals. Yes, we did it! A pat on the back!

But we'll soon discover that our "mum skills" are very much in demand. How to cook this, do we have to defrost that? What's the best washing detergent to buy? Why has the chicken we've just roasted have no breast meat on it? (because it's you've cooked it upside down). How much does this cost?  How much does that cost? 

See, our job hasn't finished has it!  It's just changed slightly. But now it's time for us to do whatever we want. Want to cook naked? Now you can, (though I wouldn't advise it)! Want to play Michael Bublè at full volume? You can with no one complaining that he doesn't rap.  

You've probably guessed by now that my son is leaving home (again). He left about a year ago but came back after six months. I'll never forget it.  Hubs was away working at the time (so I could cry all the time and feel sorry for myself).  On his last night at home we watched an episode of Cougar Town,  ironically it was about Travis leaving home and how difficult it was for Jules his mum. She wanted a poignant moment together which summed up their relationship and I wanted the same. There was so many things I wanted to say to my son-

•We've had a good time haven't we?

•I'm very proud of you. 

•Thank you for being a good son. 

•We did it mate, didn't we?

•I always be your mum and I'll always be here for you. 

•Oh and I'm not going to do your laundry!

But when it came to it, son just hugged me for about ten seconds and I couldn't speak, nothing came out of my mouth and do you know what? It didn't matter, the silence from both of us spoke volumes and that was our poignant moment. Tomorrow (september 14th) I've got to do it all over again.  Will it be easier the second time?  Will I be stronger?  I doubt it.  I'll just give him a hug and try my hardest not to cry (though I know I'll fail) and say see you later and he'll go.  Then I'll retreat to my bedroom and sob and sob and sob some more then take a couple of migraine tablets (I won't be caught out this time). 

I know I'll get used to son not living here but I think hubs and I will consider moving house to somewhere smaller.  New beginnings for all of us.  New home, maybe new hobbies. It's going to be an exciting time I suppose with new challenges and adventures. Starting with two weeks in Rhodes (a Greek island)! 

But wherever I am, whatever I'm doing I'm still, and always will be,  his mum. 

So dear readers,  How do we cope when our children leave home?