How do we choose a perfume?

Perfumes are a minefield, there is so many to choose from, it's nearly ridiculous!  Eau de parfum? Eau de toilette? What? I just want a spray that smells nice. Have you seen them all in the department stores?  It's near on impossible, you literally couldn't get around them all to try. 

So we have to do a bit of research first. It helps to have already come across the aroma on a friend, a young friend of course, you don't want to smell like an old lady (lavender is definitely out then?!). But imagine how horrified you'd be if she said it was Charlie of Lace ( do you remember those 80's scents that cost £2.99). So we'll forget that plan!
Next,  do we like floral or a musky tone?  Would we wear it day or night, (all us ladies have a special perfume that makes us feel like a sex kitten , don't we?), to work or to play?!! Ok, if we're paying that much then it's got to be for play!

We've made a decision on musky(not musty), we've all seen the adverts that make no sense! Why not advertise a perfume with oaky undertones (sounds like an ale), by a good looking oozing sex type of a man (or a fireman) just to inform us that if we wear the said perfume it'll give us guaranteed results! "Sold" I say!

I understand that the perfume companies are trying to sell us an image, if we wear their expensive smell then we also should be a size zero dripping in diamonds. Yeah whatever! Do we fall for that, we must do otherwise they'd be no marketing from them, though I always like a free sample!

It must be a hard task for our partners to buy us a perfume. "Who wore it" we ask, "oh, did she now?". Whether it's his mum or his secretary, he can't win, they HAVE to know what we like. 
So, how do we choose a perfume? Pftt, you tell me?