Tuesday, 11 October 2011

Why do I mollycoddle my son?

Why do I mollycoddle my son? Oh I don't know? I just love looking after him, it's been my "job" for so long maybe I just don't know how NOT to mother him!  Never mind pre natal classes, there should be post teen classes!
My son isn't hard work tho, he asks nothing of me, but I'm afraid I've made my bed (and his) and I assume he expects certain things from me now. He doesn't though, he told me to leave jobs and he'd do them, and he probably would but after two days of waiting I can't stand it any longer so I end up doing it! I try not too I really do, I pace around the house, do a crossword, have a tot of brandy (medicinal purposes only of course!) or weed the garden!  

I wasn't meant to be like this! Grr, I don't really know how it happened, it just did so I want to apologise to his future wife. I am so very sorry for spoiling him, I truly am, please don't hate me for it, it's just that one minute he was seven years old and the next minute he's twenty!
The only thing in my favour is hubs! Hubs does a lot around the house and son sees this, so he's very aware that housework and cooking etc isn't just the woman's job, it's teamwork. 

When son was younger he loved to help. Either dusting or attempting to push the vacuum cleaner around, he did it with such gusto now he does it with no gusto whatsoever! I also think the word "procrastination" was thought up in his honour!
I used to make it into a game with Son, I'd time him to see how fast he could put his toys away, he always managed it in ten seconds! Yeah right! One weekend when he was seventeen hubs and I were away for a weekend and I made a game up where he received points for doing household tasks and bonus points for doing any tasks above and beyond the call of duty!(eg ironing, cleaning windows) Good idea? Yes? Erm no actually, tho the home was unnaturally clean, not a coaster or cushion out of place, it was what he did for his bonus points that had me gobsmacked beyond belief,  he decided it would be a great idea to paint his feature wall in his bedroom, "what's wrong with that" you think? Well, I tell you what was wrong with that, he'd painted it in "cedar" fence paint! Fence paint! For goodness sake, it was everywhere! On the carpet, coving and somehow it was even on his window frame!  He was so proud of that wall (it took 5 coats of paint to cover it when we redecorated)!
So regarding my funny, caring and  totally  adorable only child now he's all grown up (with facial hair and everything), tell me-
Why do I mollycoddle my son?


  1. I suspect my comments in a previous blog may have been the inspiration for this one?!

    I can so relate to the first 3 paragraphs, the only thing I don't have is a 'hubs': I've been working full time shared between 2 jobs, trying to be mum, dad, cleaner, cook, gardener, nurse, housemaid and everything else whilst 'his nibs' sits on his jacksie doing sod all! My own fault I know: Because I like to live in a 'home' rather than a 'hovel' I've always ended up doing the jobs that were SUPPOSED to be his! To the point where I've given his nibs an ultimatum a few days ago: Its October, its cold outside, the tent is packed and ready to be transported to the nearest field or woodland. What is it to be: Tent or Home? Guess what? As I'm typing this - his nibs is upstairs TIDYING his room, SORTING his washing, MAKING his bed, etc. If he gets the polish & hoover out as well, I think I'll FAINT with shock. Maybe my days as a too soft, bottom wiping, mum are coming to an end? YAHHHOOOO! BUT - fast forward - once he HAS eventually 'grown up' left home I know I'll probably find myself 'looking back' to the days of washing up and mess. What are we women like? But the 'what to do when the kids have flown the nest' thing is yet another story ...........

  2. I love your comment Helen, I was mother & father for son from him being 1 years old to 10. Not an easy job at all I know.
    I find sometimes that it's easier if I do it, I know I shouldn't but I make the excuse of he's always at work, he does 12 hr shifts days & nights! But if he didn't do that I'm sure I'd find another reason for the mollycoddling!
    Ps. Wouldn't it be ironic if his future partner is called Molly!

  3. That's it in a nutshell 'lt's easier if I do it'! But long term (from my point of view) I should have been much more strict with N and carried out the disciplinary measures inflicted at the time! There's loads of times when I've said "If you do (or Don't!) do this - then 'this' will (or won't) happen - depending on the situation. But I've quite often 'given in'. He has played on this over time and knows my 'weaknesses'. BUT - guess what - following on from PREVIOUS message - he's now got stuff in washing machine and asking if I want a cup of coffee. Perhaps my 'being cruel to be kind' thing is finally sinking in......??!! I wish!

  4. So, this reminds me of a story I heard a lot growing up. My brothers (who were 14 and 17 when I was born, so all the good dirt I have on them comes totally secondhand) decided one day when they were 3 and 6 to paint the dog. Except they didn't have paint. So they used the shellac our dad was using on the boat. They shellacked the dog. Who sat there. THE WHOLE TIME. I don't know why I thought of that, except the paint thing, maybe. This is how my brain works. And as for the mollycoddling, well, as my mama said, may she rest in peace, you can't spoil a child with love. (Although you should probably draw a line at painting the dog. Or shellacking him.)

  5. I love your story Annie, thank you for sharing it. My brothers, aged 12 & 14 when I was born, once covered the cat in washing-up liquid! That was before I was born, I can't imagine how our parents sorted that problem out!