Saturday, 24 March 2012

When do you recharge your batteries?

When do you recharge your batteries? I get the chance overnight even though I'm still being used!
Let me introduce myself, I'm Jason, Chelles iPhone. I was named after one of her friends who's intelligent, but can be a little camp at times (I had a stupid sparkly red cover and looked a bit girly, don't let that put you off me).
I'd like to make it clear from the outset, I'm treated very well. I'm pleased to say she changed my awful red cover to a slightly better one, only slightly better though as its mauve, I mean, who wants to wear mauve. Doesn't my mistress realise I'm a manly man! It's a good job I'm not confused about my sexuality! After all, if I was human I'd be Hollywood hard-man Vinnie Jones (but better looking).

I spend most of my time in her soft hands while she gently taps away at my slim torso. She gazes at me in deep thought before using my keyboard to its full potential then often using the "x" to delete a lot of her words. Unbeknown to Chelley my delete button is one of my erogenous zones and boy does she work it! (The others my space bar) oh yes!

I am my mistresses favourite thing. She plays with me loads more than Leonard (the laptop). He's getting on a bit now though, he's so slow Chelle shouts at him which I find hilarious. Hugo (the home phone) thinks I'm being mean as once upon a time Leonard was her favourite and he spent many an hour sitting on her lap but now he sleeps behind the sofa in his bag the majority of the time.
Chelle uses me for many tasks including;
•Using the Internet
•To play games
•Sending text messages and emails
•Supermarket shopping
•Making lists (she has a lot of those)
•Keeping her diary
•I fulfil her app addiction
•Watching live tv
•Watching catch-up tv (every night, as it helps her to get to sleep)
•Taking photographs and videos
•She even does a lot of her writing on here as she likes that I put all the capital letters and full stops in the right order. I'm also a fabulous speller.
In fact I'm nearly darn perfect for her. I'm always there when she needs me. I entertain her for hours and hours. I ask nothing back in return. I love Chelle unconditionally. But she often works me so hard my battery needs recharging during the day. So she sits me in the kitchen on the breakfast bar and comes and checks on me every few minutes. My boss is so thoughtful, I mean, get this, when she sprays her hairspray she always covers me up with her towel or whatever's at hand. How caring's that?
Her hubs reckons I must be the most used iPhone in the history of iPhones! I mean, I'm busy now and recharging at the same time! Yes, and I can multi task too!
So, when do you recharge your batteries?


  1. Still so funny even after hearing you read it out to me lol

    Frances XX

  2. Thanks! Maybe you "hear me" when you read it. If I was a bit more technically minded I'd do a podcast! X

  3. Nice and humorous writing style