Do we really have to accept it?

Do we really have to accept it? I remember when I was diagnosed, how could I forget? I was told by an old consultant, who had no "bedside manner" at all
After looking through my notes and getting me to touch the end of my nose (why? Did he think I'd drank a whole bottle of wine before the appointment), and check my reflexes, he sat behind his desk and said the following words to me that changed my life. 
"Well, it could be one of many things, it could be M.E but what's M.E anyway or it could be Fibromyalgia, hmmm"
I sitting there thinking "unbelievable"!
"So what do I tell my husband when he asks me your verdict"
"fibromyalgia, let's stick with fibromyalgia" he said, so matter of factly. 
I'd never heard of it so I asked him to write it down for me ( I was so forgetful, yes, even all them years ago)

Hubs & I left the hospital and I called my dad on what would now be an old fashioned mobile phone, a Nokia 3310 , if my memory serves me right. I told dad what the consultant said and he said he'd heard of it but knew nothing about it. Hubs and I got back home and while he made a cup of tea I put the computer on to google this unknown word "fibromyalgia". 

After reading several websites (I didn't believe the first one), I sat there and cried and cried, I couldn't accept what I was reading, especially the word "chronic" I'd not known before what it meant. For life, it meant I'd suffer like this for life. Over the following weeks I did research after research, I joined forums but quickly discovered that they weren't for me at that time. Everyone was so "oh poor me". Those on this forum told me I had to accept it but I didn't want to. 
What does "accepting it" mean to you? 
For me it meant giving up, accepting that I had to put up with it and not fight it. I suppose it was a turning point for me. 
My research led me to trying food supplements (magnesium & co-enzyme Q10) doing a bit of light exercise and eating healthy fresh food (nothing processed) I watched tv programmes and movies that made me laugh, I was working two jobs but I resigned from one to do more of the other which I adored as it was so manic and exciting, (the first and only female manager at the best racing circuit in the UK) I often worked on Adrenalin alone!

That was 10 years ago. My life has dramatically changed this year. I thought it wise to leave my job as I felt like I wasn't giving it my best anymore as my symptoms had become worse.  I knew I needed something to keep me occupied but couldn't think of anything but one night I was home alone and decided to write a blog, I've no idea where that thought come from, divine intervention maybe. 
So, there I was, laid on my sofa iPhone in hand and wrote my first blog. It was short, could've been better but I'd made a start.  Everyone I read it too enjoyed it, and there my love of writing began and it's gone from strength to strength. 

You never know where life's gonna take you but I do know one thing, that even though my pain and fatigue is worse now than its ever been I won't give up. Hell no!

So, do we really have to accept it?
Not me!

What would be your perfect daily journal entry?

What would be your perfect daily journal entry? Mine would go a bit like this-

Dear Kitty(my journals name, if it's good enough for Anne Frank then it's good enough for me)

I was woken early this morning by my phone ringing, the caller ID lit up with the name "Michael Bublè", "oh what does he want" I mumbled? I answered with a sleepy "hi Boob, what's up"? He wanted to run a new song he'd just wrote by me. After he'd sang it I gave him an 8 out of 10 and said my goodbyes rather hastily, he tends to go on a bit!
As I snuggle back down to sleep a text comes through from Will (Prince William) inviting me to his Grandmothers house for afternoon tea. I reply with the normal response of "which house"(?), as he always forgets to be specific, the answer I get back is "Buckingham Palace"


I tell him I'm pleased about that because I fancied a bit of shopping in Harrods(my son will only eat their brand of peanut butter) & Harvey Nicks, I'll probably hit Oxford Street as well. William asks if Catherine (his Mrs) could come with me, she's a good laugh so I told him she could.
I woke up hubs and congratulated him as he'd not snored or fidgeted constantly like he normally does!
After showering and a breakfast of Eggs Benedict, freshly squeezed orange juice and coffee, still in my bathrobe, my beauty therapist arrived to give me a full body massage before jumping into the jacuzzi. After my pampering session, I went into my walk in wardrobe and grab the first outfit I see, my hair had dried naturally and my make up took seconds to apply.
"You look totally gorgeous" hubs complimented, "you don't look so bad yourself" I told him. (We are the mutual appreciation society)
My son drove us the short distance to our smallish aircraft where our pilot was waiting (nice bloke called John Travolta).


We arrived in London half an hour later, the car was waiting, and we were soon in the big city
I met up with Catherine, and we shopped till we dropped (I didn't know she liked shopping at Primark). We did have a slight argument though, I wanted a KFC but she wanted a chicken nugget happy meal from McDonalds. Catherine won though because her bodyguard wanted a Big Mac (I joked with him saying that I thought he was "coming out" and wanted an overweight Scottish man as his boyfriend)
.

After the retail therapy it was time to pop in and see the queen. We were a little early and she was vacuuming the west wing, Catherine made her jump as Elizabeth was grooving away, whilst listening to her iPod, singing "Radio Gaga". The queens maid brought us some tea and battenburg cake as we sat down for a good old gossip. I had to laugh when Lilabeth (that's what I call her) was telling us a story about herself and Prince Phillip. The previous day they'd been dining with some dignitaries from Japan when Phillip started singing that 80's hit "turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese, one really thinks so"! Oh Phillip, another gaffe!
In the evening we dined at The Savoy, lots of friends had joined us, then onto the West End to watch "Wicked"
 Ricky Whittle tagged along as he has a huge crush on me!


JT flew us home after that tiring day and we were snuggled in bed by midnight.

Yours
Michelle

So, what would be your perfect daily journal entry?

Do you prefer summer or winter?

 Do you prefer summer or winter? I much prefer summer, there doesn't seem to be as much laundry to wash or iron, maybe that's because clothes are smaller, it's also easier to dry the clothing, bedding etc! (I sound like my mother)!

Summer is the best! Listening to the birds singing, watching the wildlife in the garden (now I'm sounding like my Dad), barbecues, sipping wine while socialising in the garden, feeling the warmth from the sun in your face, lazing on the beach, music festivals, long country walks, summer gives us the opportunity to live. We live life to the full when's the suns shining! Warmer weather just makes us feel better, brighter and more motivated. We jump out of bed in the mornings, have a cool shower, throw on little shorts and a strappy top let our hair dry naturally, all tousled and sexy, bronzer, lipgloss, mascara a light summery perfume, it's easy! Isn't it?



Maybe in the movies! My reality is different. I wake up sweating as its far too hot! I drag myself into the shower, moaning that I've got to shave my legs and underarms, then it's time for the daily rummage in my wardrobe hoping I'll find something that (a) matches (b) hides my lumps and bumps (c) isn't a colour that shows wet patches under my arms when I get too hot. I attempt to dry my hair with the hair dryer on the coolest setting as I'm perspiring more now than I was before I showered! I then choke on the copious amounts of anti-persperant deodorant I spray hoping that it'll do the job I want it too, knowing full well that it won't.
Summer is painful, especially when I've fell asleep sunbathing in the garden and I awake to a bright red and sore nose and shoulders.  Well,I couldn't stay awake as I can't sleep at night because it's far too hot and stuffy! Roll on winter!

Oh winter, the nights snuggling up on the sofa with hubs in front of the fire, the flames dancing, hypnotising, bringing us the sense of calm and contentment, knowing all is well in our world. Feeling cosy in our beds with the highest tog duvet that we can find. Drinking hot chocolate, morning, noon and night. Enjoying hearty homemade soups and stews, not minding when we gain the odd pound or six, it just assists in keeping us warm under the cuddly big  wooly jumpers. Winter is very romantic isn't it? No?


Winter is NOT romantic, it's freezing!  I wear thermal everything, yes even long johns!  I climb into bed at night, hubs starts to complain, he doesn't think it's ok for me to put my cold feet on him, I remind him that he vowed when we got married "to have and to hold, keeping your feet warm, for better or worse" etc etc.
It's nearly impossible to get out of bed in the mornings, it's far too cold, "put the heating on" I hear you say, hubs says its not cold it's just my imagination! I wear so many layers of clothes I can hardly get out of a chair, and I'm sick to the back teeth of soup!
Whenever I attempt to leave the house first thing on a frosty morning, when the pathways are pretty, glistening white with frost, I can guarantee I'll slip over, and it always has to be in front of a crowd of people, that's right, I always have to have an audience of schoolchildren, well I suppose it cheers them up, it's obvious when you hear the sniggers!

So readers, have you decided, do you prefer summer or winter?
Give me autumn (fall) or spring anyday!

Jack Marshall-we've been touched by an angel.

Jack Marshall, we've been touched by an angel.
 That's how I feel, when I first started following Jack I couldn't of imagined for one minute how that" lil man" would effect me, as well as thousands of others. Jack filled me with so much emotion I wrote my first poem about him. I took a screenshot of many of his photographs to show my family and friends whilst I raved about what a brave and inspirational young man he was. 
I'm full of  gratitude and admiration for Jacks family for sharing him with the world through Twitter. He had a massive following of over eighty-five thousand. "#Jacksarmy" as we became known are all now aware now that Brain Tumours KILL more children & adults(under 40)than ANY other cancer. I didn't know that before.  
No words can express my deep condolences to his family. As a mum myself I can't begin to imagine what Tracy, his mum,is going through. But I'm sure through her grief she feels immense pride for both her sons.  I also hope she realises how Jacks Army has united together to send her, Jacks dad , brother and family so much love. 
Jack Marshall changed our world, we've been touched my an angel.  

Update 12 December 2011
I've decided to post the poem. It certainly wouldn't win any prizes but I wrote if from the heart. So for the sake of losing my first very amateur attempt here it is-

Soon we'll have to say our goodbyes
For now at least
Tears will flow
When you have to go
You're much to young to live this life
Cruel and painful, hurt and strife
We've gained so much
While you've pained so much

The love from you, to you
All consuming but I crave more 
More smiles, more words
Your hand on mine
Keep it there forever
Until the end of time
I can't say goodbye
Im thinking it 
As I can't speak 
You'd hear my cries.

Why do I mollycoddle my son?

Why do I mollycoddle my son? Oh I don't know? I just love looking after him, it's been my "job" for so long maybe I just don't know how NOT to mother him!  Never mind pre natal classes, there should be post teen classes!
My son isn't hard work tho, he asks nothing of me, but I'm afraid I've made my bed (and his) and I assume he expects certain things from me now. He doesn't though, he told me to leave jobs and he'd do them, and he probably would but after two days of waiting I can't stand it any longer so I end up doing it! I try not too I really do, I pace around the house, do a crossword, have a tot of brandy (medicinal purposes only of course!) or weed the garden!  

I wasn't meant to be like this! Grr, I don't really know how it happened, it just did so I want to apologise to his future wife. I am so very sorry for spoiling him, I truly am, please don't hate me for it, it's just that one minute he was seven years old and the next minute he's twenty!
The only thing in my favour is hubs! Hubs does a lot around the house and son sees this, so he's very aware that housework and cooking etc isn't just the woman's job, it's teamwork. 

When son was younger he loved to help. Either dusting or attempting to push the vacuum cleaner around, he did it with such gusto now he does it with no gusto whatsoever! I also think the word "procrastination" was thought up in his honour!
I used to make it into a game with Son, I'd time him to see how fast he could put his toys away, he always managed it in ten seconds! Yeah right! One weekend when he was seventeen hubs and I were away for a weekend and I made a game up where he received points for doing household tasks and bonus points for doing any tasks above and beyond the call of duty!(eg ironing, cleaning windows) Good idea? Yes? Erm no actually, tho the home was unnaturally clean, not a coaster or cushion out of place, it was what he did for his bonus points that had me gobsmacked beyond belief,  he decided it would be a great idea to paint his feature wall in his bedroom, "what's wrong with that" you think? Well, I tell you what was wrong with that, he'd painted it in "cedar" fence paint! Fence paint! For goodness sake, it was everywhere! On the carpet, coving and somehow it was even on his window frame!  He was so proud of that wall (it took 5 coats of paint to cover it when we redecorated)!
So regarding my funny, caring and  totally  adorable only child now he's all grown up (with facial hair and everything), tell me-
Why do I mollycoddle my son?

What do you think it'd be like to be a man?

What do you think it'd be like to be a man?  Once again, a tricky one as I don't want to come across as anti-feminist. I suppose I'm just an old fashioned girly girl, and am definitely pro-women. I fly the flag for sisterhood!
  I've often thought about what it'd be like to be male (I know, I think weird things sometimes).  The positive things about being a man is ... ermm, let me think, oh yes, I wouldn't struggle to open a bottle of ketchup! Also, ermmmmm, I can't think of anymore of the top of my head at the moment, I'll come back to the positives, but now for the negatives-
•The man has to remove the spiders, without killing them if course. 
•The man fetches the ice-creams whilst the ladies laze in the sun. 
•The man is the one that collects the take-aways. 
•Men as a rule can't multi-task
•I'd hate having all that body hair (especially the mass of underarm hair & furry legs)
•Having to understand us women (I don't know about you but I can, on occasion, be high maintenance)
•I expect hubs to know how to tackle any DIY task. 
•I expect men to like blokey drinks like ale, beer and lager, pints of course. (When I prefer sipping at fancy cocktails, the night I met hubs I had a Screaming Orgasm, the cocktail, naughty)
•I'm not embarrassed to cry at a movie. 
•I'd hate to have "mens parts" dangling between my legs whereas the female form is much more attractive (normally)
I think the negative list to go on forever, though it I had been born a man I'd no doubt have a long list of womanly negatives. I was also supposed to be going back to manly positives but I'm afraid after an overnight thinking session I couldn't come up with any. I look forward to any suggestions dear reader!
So, what do you think it'd be like to be a man?

How do we deal with bullies?

How would you deal with bullies? Harshly no doubt. Ive never been bullied, should I count myself lucky? Are those that get bullied, unlucky?
Surely it shouldn't be down to lady luck, it's not like winning the lottery is it! So, what is it down too, its certainly not the fault of the person being bullied. So it's  the bullies fault , right?
I think there's more to it than that, I mean, what turns an innocent child into a bully who terrorises those who aren't as strong, emotionally and physically.  Could it be the parents "bullying" their children? Teaching them negative behaviour? If not the mimicking of the parents, then what?  Maybe some of the bullies were once the victims themselves and was"picked on" by their peers?
We have to understand it to try put a stop to it, though sadly, I don't think it'll ever be totally wiped out. Though, there are schools that have zero tolerance, and rightly so.  
Should we be teaching pupils in the first two years of schooling about the effects it causes to their school friends?  How those guilty of bullying will find themselves excluded from school and possibly ruining their chances of their chosen career.
Something has to be done to protect those that suffer dreadfully at the hands of a bully, whether at school or in the workplace.  It's a difficult one!
So, how would you deal with bullies?