How do you mend a broken heart?

How do you mend a broken heart? Well  I'm in a good position to answer that having had my own heart broken more times than I deserve. But the good news is I survived each one and I'm very sensitive, sentimental,  and emotional so if I can then you can survive this too.
Ok so here goes, get yourself a drink, tea, coffee or hot chocolate and keep sipping as you read and get yourself comfy under a blanket/duvet if you feel a bit cold. Take a headache tablet (all this heartbreak does literally hurt).
Done that, then I'll begin. If you haven't done it then stop reading and do it now, that's an order! Good, thank you!

ITS NOT YOU, IT IS THEM! - it isn't you, honestly, they just don't "get you", they don't understand or appreciate you enough. You can't and shouldn't change. If two people don't "fit" together it can't be forced. Maybe you didn't see it, maybe it was a niggle you had but didn't want to admit it. Do not blame yourself. If they say it is them then they're probably right! (Keep sipping your drink).

YOU WILL GET OVER THIS - how you are feeling right now will pass, you will smile, laugh and be happy again! For the time being though, don't look into the future. Initially, worry about NOW! Not tomorrow or next week but right this minute. (Sip)

DO WHAT YOU WANT - within reason of course. Eat ice-cream,cry, scream, punch your pillow, go for a run (that wouldn't be my choice), take a nap (my choice), or watch a movie, (funny not sad).

DONT CONTACT THEM -
I know you want to, but don't do it. What would you say anyway? And if they don't say what you'd hope they'd say then you'll feel so much worse afterwards. Don't drown your sorrows with a bottle of wine or anything remotely alcoholic or you may end up calling them and saying things that you'd regret, hence the hot drink you should have in your hand (Keep sipping)!

TALK TO FAMILY/FRIENDS - they'll want to listen. Your best friend will be your rock, (your ex wasn't your best friend, maybe you thought they were but sorry my darling, they weren't) tell them how you feel, sob into their shoulder. If they're not nearby give them a call or Skype them. (Lift drink to mouth, sip and swallow)

I strongly believe things happen for a reason and that you're on a path. To reach your destination life won't be easy but you'll get there. I've been with my husband for thirteen years this year and to have been in that right place at the right time I had to endure a lot of heartache. (As did my husband) If I hadn't been dumped, if I hadn't took that job, there are so many instances that put me in that place at that time (and to think I was so angry that my taxi was an hour late).
If only I'd known, if only I'd have faith and believed in fate.
When I think back to all the times I had my heart broken it makes me sad. It's not because I still hold any feelings for my exes but I remember the hurt I felt. The feelings of despair, loneliness, rejection and grief are unbearable but I can assure you that one day you will be ok. Hold on to that thought and one day you'll be answering the question when someone asks you, How do you mend a broken heart?

Have you ever been on a reunion?

Have you ever been on a reunion? I never have before but tomorrow I'm meeting up with a workmate that I haven't seen for about 22 years! (That makes me feel really old). Let me tell you about her. She's called Denise and I totally loved working with her. In actual fact there was three of us working on the household dept in a large department store. We had nicknames given to us by Karen, (she was funny too) I was Baby Bear (I was 16 at the time) a lovely lady called Val was Mummy Bear and Denise, much to her annoyance was Daddy Bear! (Her best friend Caroline thought it was hilarious) Over the five years we worked together we went through every emotion. We laughed loads but also sometimes cried together. I was delighted for her when she got married but I felt great sadness when she moved away to another county but once again joy as she became pregnant and had a little girl. Unfortunately, we lost touch over the years but I never forgot her. Denise loved listening to the music from the West End play Tell me on a Sunday, in particular a song of the same name. I often found myself singing it and I thought of Denise and the impact she had on me. Also, whenever I stood at a bus stop I'd remember the times we walked to the bus stop together after work to wait for our buses. We'd give secret names to the regular people that was there each day, (I know I'm immature, but if you're a regular reader of my blogs then you'll know that all ready) I can't remember them all now but we decided one nice lady looked a teeny tiny bit like a horse (sorry nice lady) so at the end of each day when we'd clocked off and were getting our bags and coats from the locker room myself or Denise would shout "are you ossing"? (oss was the shortened version of horse) The other would call back "Yes, are you ossing"? Others would look at us as though we'd lost the plot, especially when we told them that it meant we were asking each other if we were going for the bus! Denise and I had a connection that was quite unique even though she's ten years older than me. I suppose, looking back, I looked up to her. The first time I went to her house and I saw her kitchen was painted white and all her accessories, kettle, toaster and mugs etc was bright yellow and it looked fabulous. I decided when I left home I'd want the same in my kitchen. But what I remember most of all was her sense of humour and also the fact that she didn't care what people thought of her. What you saw was what you got! I admired her for that. Last week Denise found me on a social networking site. I was blooming delighted to say the least. A couple of days after that she rang me. We were on the phone for nearly two hours, catching up on what we'd been up to for the last twenty odd years. I soon found Denise hadn't changed a bit. She still got up to mischief but didn't want to go into to much detail as she said she still thought of me as Baby Bear! "Denise" I said, "I'm forty-four so spill the beans, I want to know all the juicy details" (But even at forty-four I still blushed)! So, tomorrow at 11am I'm meeting her, as it happens very close to where we used to work. Will I recognise her? Will she recognise me? What will are first words be? No doubt it'll be "are you ossing later"? So dear readers, have you ever been on a reunion?

Have you ever had a visit from the police?

Have you ever had a visit from the police? Well, I blooming have! It all happened last night and I've never felt so frightened in my life. Let me set the scene. It was midnight, hubs was working a nightshift and I was tucked up in bed. I wasn't asleep as my neighbours, who like night time activities (see previous blog), was being rather vocal! As you can imagine I couldn't listen to that so I turned up the television extra loud. I was hoping they'd hear it and realise why the volume was so high. After a few minutes I was back to silence. "Bliss" I thought and snuggled down to sleep. Then all of a sudden I heard tapping at my front door. I lay there not moving a muscle. "Oh my gosh, it's my neighbour coming to complain about my noisy tv" I thought. I was panic stricken. I wasn't going to answer the door and assumed if I stayed silent and unresponsive (unlike his girlfriend) then he'd go away. But no, the banging on my door grew louder and louder, then I saw a flashlight at my window. Now I was proper scared. I got out of bed and went to the window to see a bright light pointing right at me! I opened the window, my heart racing, and called down to who I presumed was my neighbour. "Hello " I called "Will you open your door please and let us in" a gruff voice answered back? "Who is it" my voice squeaked back? "The police" "I'll be right down" relieved it wasn't the Greek God Dionysus from next door. Within no time at all my door had been opened and three burly uniformed officers stood before me. "Can we come in" the youngest of the group asked? But before I could answer two of them was already in my kitchen. Wide eyed I just stared at them. "Is there anybody else here" the other asked? I went on to explain that hubs was at work and I was on my own. "We'd like to look in your garage please" the first cop said, and it didn't feel like a question. I handed the keys over telling them that there was a light switch on the left and it wasn't very tidy as we'd only been in the house for just over a month. "We can smell cannabis in the air and it seems to be coming from your garage" Goodness me they think I'm a drug dealer! "I actually thought you were from next door". I went on to explain my lively neighbours and why I didn't answer the door sooner. As one of them checked the garage the second stood in my doorway (I'm assuming so I couldn't do a runner in my fluffy slippers) and the third was outside trying to look intimidating (but failing) Now with all of us stood outside (I was pleased I'd put my dressing gown on as it was a bit nippy) and after the cop giving the garage a once over they were satisfied I was innocent. They went on to explain that a neighbours car had been found further up the road and it'd obviously been in an accident so they'd come to the address but no one was home and that's when the cannabis aroma had been noticed. The police made their apologies and left. I was a nervous wreck to say the least, you could see my hands physically shaking. I retreated back to the safety of my bedroom grabbing my phone I called hubs. After he calmed me down and I'd stopped peaking out of the window at the police concentrating on next door but one (maybe they noticed the air con unit on the roof of their garage) I settled back down to try and get some sleep (not that I got much). So, dear readers, have you ever had a visit from the police? Ps lighthearted innocent stories please, let's not get serious!

How do you tell your neighbours you can hear them having sex?

How do you tell your neighbours you can hear them having sex? I say my neighbour (who's a man in his late twenties, early thirties) but I really mean my neighbours girlfriend! We'd only lived in our new home for three days when I heard her. Hubs was sound asleep and I was happily reading my book when all of a sudden a noise startled me. "Oh", I thought " they've got a Jack Russell next door". It was yapping away like small dogs do when realisation hit me! Oh my goodness, they're at it! They're having sex! Oh dear, was this going to happen every time or was they just having a laugh trying to wind us new neighbours up? A few days later I saw what I guessed was her car on their driveway. "Brace yourself", I said to hubs, "and don't get any funny ideas either"! "What you talking about" he replied looking confused? "You'll see" We carried on watching television when all of a sudden I faintly heard the tell tale yelp. "What's that noise" hubs asked looking slightly confused? I raised my eyebrows at him. "Oh, (pause) oh, (pause) ohhhh, (now speed talking) blooming heck, what's up with her"? The penny dropped! "What's he doing to her"? "Do you really need me to tell you"? "Can't he tell her to shut up"? Then hubs started to rant! "It's enough to put you off" So, what's the answer? I have a few ideas and I'd like your opinion. Idea 1 After the noise has stopped give them a round of applause shouting "bravo, bravo" Idea 2 When she starts yelping bang on the wall shouting to ask if she's ok and does she need an ambulance. (Hubs is convinced that she's being electrocuted) Idea 3 Hubs and I pretend to have a massive argument and I scream "go and have sex with her then" and he shouts back "not with the noises she makes I'm not"! Idea 4 As soon as we hear her run to their front door knocking furiously and then run away. (This idea makes me giggle, I can be so mischievous) Idea 5 Invite lots of friends round and charge an admission fee. Idea 6 Ask my mother in law if she'll go round to their house and just tell them straight! (This ones not the best idea as I don't think I could even say the word "sex" in front of her) After living here for over a month I do hope you can all appreciate our problem. I'm dreading having my son (aged 22), my parents and in laws (all in their seventies) visiting us when our next door neighbours are getting amorous (if that's what they're doing). My son would just be laughing hysterically (how immature) and I'm sure all the parents would just pretend they couldn't hear it (whilst hubs and I would look at each other wanting to laugh hysterically) So dear readers, please help! How do you tell your neighbours you can hear them having sex?

How old are you?

How old are you? I'm asking because tomorrow is my forty-fourth birthday! Yep, I'm forty-blooming-four. Before you yell at me I know it's not old (unless you're younger and you do think it's old) and I'm not ashamed of it in any way shape or form but I just don't want to be that age. So I've decided that I want to be thirty-six. Why? Because its a nice number and why not? I've just thought, if I tell someone I'm in my mid thirties they might look at me and think I look really old for my age! Oh no! Ok, change of plan, tomorrow I will be .... forty-nine! Now I look young for my age! Result! Why do I care?, I hear you ask. Well, to be honest I don't know. Maybe it's because- A. Life seems to be passing by so quickly. B. My son likes to shout out my age and laugh as loud as he possibly can much to my annoyance. C. Birthdays and Christmas' aren't as exciting anymore. 4. The memory starts to fade. On the plus side of things I'll have a lovely day, my son may even visit, and hubs and I are meeting friends in the evening for a meal in my favourite Greek restaurant. I do enjoy my birthdays, a lot of people make a lot of effort for me and it touches my heart. I suppose I just don't want to grow old. Tomorrow I'm going to be forty-four! (I shout it loud and I shout it proud) So, dear readers, how old are you?

Do I need to lose weight?

Do I need to lose weight? I normally would answer "no I'm fine" and I suppose in some ways I am. Well, maybe I could do with losing the odd pound or two (about twenty-one to be truthful) but I'm fine, I really am, I'm fine. Honestly, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine..........

Hmmmm, actually,  I'm not fine, I'm overweight, there I've said it! I'm overweight, it's took me nearly forty-four years to achieve it (I'm strangely proud of that)! It's had it's ups and downs but unfortunately it's my weight that's  been on a big "up" for the last eighteen months so I think a "down" is long overdue.  

So where do I start? Well, I've pushed the not very healthy food to the back of the fridge/cupboards. I refuse to throw food away though, one day I might appreciate that kit kat or that pack of garlic butter! You never know I may even come across a diet that encourages copious amounts of warm garlic bread oozing with  butter (I'm not doing myself any favours am I?).

Seriously though, I decided to do something about it, with hubs too (if I'm on a diet then so is he). 

How? Was the next question. I asked my best friend as she's always watching what she eats and has a lovely figure. Weightwatchers? Slimming world? They both help an awful lot of people but Emma recommended a app for my iPhone (a free one at that). So I downloaded "My fitness pal" (the title frightened me as I'm allergic to anything that even resembles fitness) and what a clever app it is.  It asks for your sex, height, age, weight and how much you'd like to lose then all you have to do is log everything you eat or drink and also what exercise you've done that day including light housework and walking. It takes a bit of getting used to but it's very helpful. 

So we've been calorie counting for a week now and I'm delighted to say I've lost one and a half pounds. I feel thinner and I have more energy. It's s good start I suppose, hubs lost nearly twice as much as me (grrr), but I was hoping for a little more, and yes before you ask  I shaved my legs, had a pee (and emptied my bowels) speed ran on the spot for a minute or two (about 10 seconds in reality) to squeeze another ounce of fat out of me (urgh that sounds awful). 

I know this is the start of a very long journey, very long. Can I do this? Do I want to? I've eaten fish three times this week and that's a record for me especially as it hasn't been deep fried in batter (yum)! Oh how I love my fattening food, chocolate, chips and more chocolate, not forgetting alcohol. that reminds me, I'm out tonight with hubs and two other couples for a meal and drinks (and it could get messy)! 

I am fatter than I should be and I suppose for the sake of my health I need to do something about it even though to start with it may be tough. Or am I just trying to talk myself into it?

So dear readers, do I need to lose weight? 

How do we cope when our children leave home?

How do we cope when our children leave home?  We don't! Us mothers just cry and cry and wish we could turn the time back to when they needed us.  We look at baby photos, sit in their  bedroom and wallow in self pity feeling like our world had ended.  We are mums for goodness sake what else our we meant to do. What's are identity if we aren't "mum"? What's are role in life? What are we meant to do now? 

Just remember for one moment that we haven't always been a parent, that before being totally consumed by our little bundle of joy we were happy individuals. We were strong independent women. That's what we were and that's what we can be again (I say, sitting up straight with a determined face)! I'm not going to let this empty nest get me down! We should be proud of ourselves for bringing up our children into good well rounded individuals. Yes, we did it! A pat on the back!

But we'll soon discover that our "mum skills" are very much in demand. How to cook this, do we have to defrost that? What's the best washing detergent to buy? Why has the chicken we've just roasted have no breast meat on it? (because it's you've cooked it upside down). How much does this cost?  How much does that cost? 

See, our job hasn't finished has it!  It's just changed slightly. But now it's time for us to do whatever we want. Want to cook naked? Now you can, (though I wouldn't advise it)! Want to play Michael Bublè at full volume? You can with no one complaining that he doesn't rap.  

You've probably guessed by now that my son is leaving home (again). He left about a year ago but came back after six months. I'll never forget it.  Hubs was away working at the time (so I could cry all the time and feel sorry for myself).  On his last night at home we watched an episode of Cougar Town,  ironically it was about Travis leaving home and how difficult it was for Jules his mum. She wanted a poignant moment together which summed up their relationship and I wanted the same. There was so many things I wanted to say to my son-

•We've had a good time haven't we?

•I'm very proud of you. 

•Thank you for being a good son. 

•We did it mate, didn't we?

•I always be your mum and I'll always be here for you. 

•Oh and I'm not going to do your laundry!

But when it came to it, son just hugged me for about ten seconds and I couldn't speak, nothing came out of my mouth and do you know what? It didn't matter, the silence from both of us spoke volumes and that was our poignant moment. Tomorrow (september 14th) I've got to do it all over again.  Will it be easier the second time?  Will I be stronger?  I doubt it.  I'll just give him a hug and try my hardest not to cry (though I know I'll fail) and say see you later and he'll go.  Then I'll retreat to my bedroom and sob and sob and sob some more then take a couple of migraine tablets (I won't be caught out this time). 

I know I'll get used to son not living here but I think hubs and I will consider moving house to somewhere smaller.  New beginnings for all of us.  New home, maybe new hobbies. It's going to be an exciting time I suppose with new challenges and adventures. Starting with two weeks in Rhodes (a Greek island)! 

But wherever I am, whatever I'm doing I'm still, and always will be,  his mum. 

So dear readers,  How do we cope when our children leave home?